Begins Shortly
Mr. Sakata Gintoki's Public Apology
We're here live at the press conference where Mr. Sakata Gintoki
is about to issue a public apology for the return of the Gintama anime.
We seem to be running a little late.
Please watch this press conference in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.
He doesn't seem to be here yet...
Oh, there he is!
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Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here today.
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In light of the Gintama anime's recent failures,
I, Sakata Gintoki, the protagonist,
am here to represent all the producers and staff of the show
in publicly apologizing at this press conference.
First of all, for not ending with the final chapter...
We're very sorry!
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Mind if I ask some questions?
Go ahead.
Firstly, could you tell us a bit about how this happened?
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It's too early to be crying!
You haven't said anything yet!
I was in disbelief that the movie made 1.7 billion yen at the box office!
I had no words to express how thankful I was to all our viewers!
But then those money mongers in suits started coming for us again,
and before I knew it, we went from Sunrise to something else entirely!
What's more, the producer couldn't abandon his womanizing ways!
But the thing is...
You people don't understand anything!
What could you possibly know about the producer?!
I have no idea what you're talking about!
As such, there's something I need to tell you all today,
and here's what it is...
There. We apologized.
Gintama will be resuming now, then.
Screw you!
Psycho-Pass!
Odd Jobs Gin-chan
I'm only gonna say this once, stupid curly!
You'll cough up this and last month's rent,
and you'll do it right now, even if you have to sell your kidneys!
Uh, Gran?
Look...
I get it.
I see the wrinkles on your forehead, and your quiet intensity.
You'll get your rent and kidneys next month, okay?
Gran? Hello?
You listening to me?
Knock it off, you old hag!
You're being annoying!
How long are you gonna keep that filthy expression up?!
Spare a thought for our viewers at home!
They can't handle your mug for more than three second—
Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
Uh, this is...
Pachi-boy!
Kagura!
Gin-san... Gin-chan...
I knew it.
Everything's
stopped moving.
People, animals, objects, all of it.
So, you're saying...
It's all frozen?
Sugar Content
Not just people or objects,
but time itself?
You Can Never Pause at the Perfect Time
Sure is quiet.
It's almost as if we're the only people in the entire world.
But now is the time to stay calm.
Let's analyze this situation with cool heads.
Basically, what this means is...
We don't have to pay rent anymore.
This is not the time for that crap!
It also means your paydays will never come again.
Screw you! That's illegal!
Time hasn't stopped for us!
Maybe it hasn't,
but our water and gas supply sure has.
That was your fault, not time's!
Also, who cares about that right now?
Time has been frozen in its tracks!
We're the only ones not affected by it!
And the anime only just resumed, too!
How did things end up like this?!
I'm not sure what's going on,
but just when I thought I'd gotten my hands on an unusual clock,
it immediately became useless.
Huh? Why are you worried about that?
Gin-chan, what is that?
Isn't it weird?
I'm pretty sure it's a clock.
I thought I could sell it for a nice profit.
Where did you get that?
I was wasted, so my memory's a bit hazy,
but on my way home after drinking last night...
I found it lying in the street.
There's something way more crazy lying next to it!
Come to think of it, I saw a drunkard on the ground with his face all flushed, too.
He wasn't drunk!
He was bleeding!
P-Please...
Take care of that for us...
Protect the Universal Clock in our stead.
It's an ancient clock from the age of the gods that has controlled time
on billions of worlds since the birth of the universe.
We, the Watchmen of Time, have guarded it for generations,
but we're incapable of doing so anymore.
If that clock were to fall into the hands of humans,
the universe's flow of time would be disrupted.
It would surely cause a massive disaster!
I beg of you!
Seal the clock where no human can ever find—
He's not even listening to the most important bit!
Don't! Giving him the clock is a really bad idea!
Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Ugh, I feel sick.
My head hurts...
I can't sleep...
Morning already...
I haven't gotten a wink of sleep...
Shut up! I've been up for ages already!
It's all your damn fault!
What is wrong with you?!
How could you mistake such a valuable object for an alarm clock and destroy it?!
So what are you telling me, moron?
That the guys protecting this clock got into an accident,
so it ended up in the hands of an idiot, leading to this situation?
Yeah. It sounds unbelievable,
but that clock's the embodiment of the universe's flow of time.
The reason we're the only ones unaffected...
Shut up! I've been up for ages already!
...is probably because we were nearby when it got destroyed.
Maybe it doesn't affect time in the direct vicinity of its user.
Either way, we have to fix this clock,
or the world's time will stay frozen,
and the three of us will be left stranded in a different plane of time for eternity!
What do we do?!
We can't even ask for help! Everyone else is frozen in place!
There's nothing we can do!
Our world is done for! And so are we!
We're finished in the very first episode!
Pachi-boy, nothing will come of being pessimistic when your back is to the wall.
A samurai must think positively at all times.
If he does, he is sure to find a golden opportunity.
That's rich, coming from the samurai who destroyed the world!
Sure, the world might stay frozen in place forever if we don't do something,
but look at it from another perspective!
You've gained the privilege of fondling Otsu-chan's boobs forever!
What kind of golden opportunity is that?!
You can be pessimistic after you've fondled her for about 30,000 years.
The idea that that's all I can do for 30,000 years
makes me nothing but pessimistic!
Her boobs would fall off!
Besides, do you really think I'd take advantage of this situation
to do something that disgusting?
I'll keep it to three hours.
All right!
Then I'll go after Ketsuno Ana's a—
Bank of Edo
Now that I'm a Watchman of Time, don't think I'll let you scum do as you please.
Stop fooling around and start robbing that totally unguarded bank.
W-Wait, Kagura.
Do you really think I came here for no reason?
Doll House
Old man Gengai's place?
Are you stupid?
Yeah, normally he'd be able to repair anything.
But look at that stupid face, with his finger frozen up his nose.
What could he possibly do?
That's right.
No matter what we try, it'll all be futile unless time starts flowing again.
In that case, we just need to make it flow ourselves.
This clock can't function automatically right now,
but we can manually move its hands with our fingers.
In other words...
We can't get time to flow actively again,
but we can force it along
and jump to a certain point in the future.
And then we...
I get it, Gin-chan!
We leave this booger geezer the clock, along with a note or something.
Please fix this clock. -Odd Jobs
And then, if we move the clock's hands forward...
We'll reach a future where he's fixed the clock!
The world will be back to normal!
You're amazing, Gin-chan!
I never even imagined we could use it like a time machine!
That's right.
While time's still frozen,
Marriage Registration Form Sakata Gintoki Ketsuno Christel
I just need to get the paperwork done.
Today's Weather
Good morning, everyone!
Let's get right to today's—
Today's Husband
A future where I get to dock with Ketsuno Ana's ketsunoana (asshole) awaits!
All right. You can turn the clock now.
You were talking about Ketsuno Ana?!
Knock it off already!
Don't go around forging documents!
What happened to fixing the clock?!
Huh? We can?
With the same method you were plotting evil with!
Why don't you use that scheming brain of yours for society's betterment?!
Shinpachi, what's that paper in your hand?
Boob Fondling Coupons Fondle Fondle Fondle Fondle
What the hell are boob fondling coupons?
Forget it.
I know better than to rely on you scumbags.
I'll do it myself.
Please fix this clock. -Kagura
All that's left is to move the hands forward.
The geezer will take care of the rest.
Now that I look closer, there are a bunch of clocks on this thing.
Which hand should I move?
How is anybody supposed to know?
Could it have clocks that go by units of days or years?
We'd better be careful.
We have no choice but to move it just a little bit and see what happens.
Huh? This is pretty stiff!
Well? Did anything change?
Guess nothing will happen while he's still picking his nose.
Try moving it further forward.
That's too far!
What are you doing, Kagura-chan?!
You tried too hard!
We went past Gengai-san's lifespan!
It's your fault for rushing me.
And this clock uses some weird mechanism based on five-minute units.
I can't tell how far to move it.
Maybe you moved the one that goes by years and sent us far into the future.
What are we gonna do?
Gengai-san died!
Who'll fix the clock now?
Settle down. There's still a way.
If we can manually move the hands of the clock forward,
we should be able to turn them back, too.
You're right!
It looks like we can go back to the point where the clock broke.
That's a relief.
So we can get back to square one, huh?
This time, let's put the clock where the geezer's more likely to see it,
and carefully move time forward.
That should do it.
Here we go.
Uh, excuse me...
Now it's not moving far enough.
He keeps ignoring the clock and picking his nose.
Are we really sure that time's passing here?
It is.
It's hard to notice, but he's chasing the booger further in.
How many years is it gonna take for anything to change, then?!
I feel like I've moved the hands far enough for a few days to have passed.
Just how long is he gonna keep picking his nose?!
Hey! He's going really deep!
Shouldn't we stop him?
Maybe call an ambulance?
How can you tell?
I don't see any changes from when we started!
We've gotta endure!
He'll get bored of picking his nose eventually, and then he'll notice the clock!
Look, I don't think any time has passed at all.
Move the hands to a point with some noticeable change.
That's too drastic a change!
What the hell happened?!
What the hell happened in between cuts?!
He was picking his nose right here just a moment ago!
Why is he picking his nose in a portrait now?!
That's why I asked if we should call an ambulance.
Anybody could've seen this coming.
Who could see that coming?!
Where in the world are you gonna find someone who chases a booger to his death?!
Before worrying about the clock, we gotta focus on preventing the geezer's death.
Let's go in smaller increments until we get to the moment before his death.
Here goes.
Huh? Gengai-san's gone.
Nah, he's over here.
I did it!
I finally did it!
Is that...
Does this mean...
He finished repairing the clock right before his death?
Did we just fail to notice that he was working on it?
Why is the world not back to normal, then?
That's probably because of the way he died.
Look at that.
A t-truck!
I think the geezer jumped out into the street to celebrate finishing the repairs,
got hit by that truck, and died.
At the same time, the clock must've been destroyed again.
So if we save Gengai-san here, we can get our hands on the repaired clock!
Yay! Now we can—
It's just a booger!
No wonder he was picking his nose for that long!
Just how big a gold nugget was he digging for?!
Anyway, we've saved his life. The booger's been dealt with, too.
He should be able to focus on repairing the clock now.
Let's try moving a little into the future.
Poor thing.
Apparently something hit the truck's windshield,
causing it to crash into the pole.
Hasegawa-san was driving that truck!
Oh my God!
Just when we thought we'd saved Gengai-san,
now Hasegawa-san's dead instead!
It's your fault for throwing the booger at the truck!
Complain to the man who gave birth to that monster!
Calm down. We've got this.
We just need to turn back time and get that booger again.
Throwing it into the trash should do the trick.
Okay, things should definitely work out this time.
Poor thing.
Apparently he was sleeping under the pole when something suddenly
hit his face and caused him to suffocate to death.
He was in the box?!
Damn, this is too much!
He has unbelievably bad luck!
Half-assed resistance won't be enough to shake off his cursed fate!
Forget it. Let's carry him to a place far away from the geezer and his booger.
One, two...
Heave, ho! Heave, ho! Heave, ho!
He's gotta be fine here.
He's definitely gonna be fine here.
Apparently he died a natural death.
What do you mean, natural death?!
There's nothing we can do to stop a natural death!
There's no way to save him!
What the hell's going on?
As much as we try to save him, death keeps sucking him back in!
So if we save one, the other will die?
Damn it. There's gotta be a way.
There's gotta be a way to save everyone.
I know it...
I'm sure of it!
Special Beam Attack!
How did the future come to this?!
To Be Continued
Next Episode: Even a Matsui Stick Can't Handle Some Kinds of Dirt
Next Episode: "Even a Matsui Stick Can't Handle Some Kinds of Dirt."